Fear, No More

Tonight as I laid  in Archie's arms after a long day, I  felt so loved, so protected.  But as I laid there, I kept thinking about how I haven't felt that love or protection from God lately.  I know that God is loving and He is our protector, but feeling that and knowing that are 2 different things.  Archie has always been so loving and has protected me and our family, but I long for more.  My soul longs for a deepness that can only be satisfied by God.

Honestly, I know and feel love from God on a daily basis.  Just looking at Archie, Madison, Christian, and Caleb I know that I am loved.  Taking notice of all the blessings that I have in my life truly does remind me of how loved I am by God and through my family and friends.  So, what I am really longing for is the protection piece. But protection from what?

Fear.  Fear is what I need to be protected from.  Sometime 2 years ago fear took a hold of me and I have never truly been the same.  Nothing huge happened in my life for it to rear its ugly head, but it came . . . and then it kept coming.  What is there to be afraid of?  I know that God has conquered all and that I should not be afraid, yet, I find myself gripped by it sometimes.  I'm not afraid of spiders or planes crashing, or even the scare of our down-turned economy.  I am afraid of myself or any of my dear family and friends having health problems-I am also sometimes afraid of death.

The reality of mortalness has become so very clear to me these past few years, and the stories I hear and the televisions shows I have watched just add to it. So I become afraid.  But in that fear I always hear God in the background, in a whisper, telling me not to be afraid.  Telling me to hold onto Him and He will deliver me from my fear. Telling me that He is bigger than my fear.  I want to hear that voice, that whisper, know that Truth . . . so fear doesn't grip me, so I am not afraid, so I trust in what God says and Who He is. . . so there is no room for fear to grow.

So tonight I claim these verses and ask God to protect me, to be my strength.

Isiah 41:10  

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

 

(Isaiah 43:1b-3a)

 Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. 

 (Philippians 4:6-8)

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 

 

 (Exodus 14:13a,14) 

Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

 (Psalm 73:26)

 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 

(Psalm 84:5,7)

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion. 

 (Psalm 94:18-19)
When I  said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.


 (John 14:27)
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  

Farewell fears!  I will no longer be afraid of fevers, headaches,  meningitis, fainting, medical issues, cancer, or death and I will hold onto the promises of God.   If my fear does return or if new fears begin, then I will continue to hold onto God's promises because He is mighty and He has already conquered all my fears.   My fears are crushed to Him, so they are now also crushed to me.

--what made me think about this today was a conversation that I had on the phone with a nurse about Madison's fever and meningitis.  God used her to show me that I was being silly and that I was allowing  fear to paralyze and blind me.  I was allowing fear to lessen my trust in my God, my Savior.

God is good all the time, All the time, God is good.

Lead Me

http://www.sanctusreal.com/

Click on this website and listen to an amazing story and hear an amazing song.  God is in the business of changing lives and He leads . . . we just need to learn to follow Him.

TEAM Work

When I taught  5th grade, the school that I was in had shirts made one year which said TEAM . . . Together Everyone Achieves More.  This motto has stuck with me all these years because it really is a true saying.  This Brownie vest shows Archie's and my TEAM work recently.

If you ask me how I am doing, I will almost always give the same answer . . . things are good . . . but they are so BUSY!  Working full time, having 3 kids, being a wife . . . a cook . . . a maid . . . a homework checker . . . etc. along with Archie and all the work that he does with our business and etc.  we truly ARE busy.  Honestly, it's not a bad thing, and I do believe that we have pretty good balance overall, but things are non-stop a lot of the time . . . and just BUSY!  Anyways, one night after I cleaned up before going to bed, I put out Madison's new Brownie vest and all the patches that needed to be ironed on along with the iron out on the counter.  I need to see things so I can be reminded to DO things, so this was serving as a visual reminder for me to get this done and hopefully it would be done the next day.  Lo and behold, to my surprise, I woke up the next morning to the picture that I took above.  Archie woke up early and ironed all the patches.  I know that this truly is a small thing, but it reminded me how  people really do need to be a TEAM to have success AND it reminded me of how great of a teammate Archie is (even though I forget that at times).

Since this time of our life is very busy right now, the Coleman 5 need to be working together as a TEAM more than ever now . . . and I need to make sure that I am appreciating the small things that are done that are truly blessings. 

Small things which have really made a difference recently and which I am thankful for are:  Archie preparing my breakfast and getting the kids ready in the morning, family (Colemans and Beslics) helping out with childcare for a few hours here and there, the kids helping by taking the groceries out of of the car and into the house, my TEAMmates at school, people taking time to pray with/for me, a friend that takes Madison home EVERY day from school, Jenny not only watching our kids-but also putting away dishes and laundry, and ALL the ways that God shows how he continues to provide for and bless my family. 

It's about the kind of heart that a person has; a loving and serving heart  . . . or a selfish and self-serving heart.   I have been served so much out of love from others, and I hope that I am able to serve others back out of God's love.

20 years of Operation Christmas Child

I have loved the Operation Christmas Child program since I learned about it over 10 years ago.  I love watching my children pick out toys and purchasing items for kids their age that they don't even know.  I love knowing that my kids are serving people in need and that they are excited about it.   I love praying with my kids for the little boys and girl that are going to recieve this shoebox.  I love what God has done through this amazing project.

This year I introduced this program to the teachers at my school and we decided to make it our 7th graders' service project.  It's been amazing to see the kids excited to help other kids around the world and to talk about our global community.  Our students have 2 weeks to bring in items for OCC and then a few "chosen" students will have the opportunity to fill these shoeboxes.  Thank you God for this amazing opportunity!

Madison's Heart

Madison asked Jesus into her heart on Tuesday, June 15, 2010 in the late evening.  It was a really sweet moment between God, her, and myself. 

I bought Madison a devotional book early this summer because  I thought that it would be neat to do a devotion side by side next to my daughter and I really wanted to get disciplined in my time with God.  Well, it turned out a little different than I thought, due to her wanting to read with me and me thoroughly enjoying my time with her.  We had been reading and praying through a short devotion for girls and after a few times, I felt prompted to ask Madison a question.  I asked her where God lived.  I didn't know exactly where this conversation would go, but it felt right, so I continued.  Of course Madison replied that God lived in heaven and I asked her if there was anywhere else that He could live.  After a few moments of thinking about it, and I don't know if she recalled it or if I said it, but we discussed how God also lives in people's hearts.  This then lead to Madison asking me if God lived in my heart.  I told her that God did live in my heart, but that He had not always lived there.  I told her just a little bit about my childhood and going to church, and I also told her that I asked Jesus into my heart at the age of 18 when I decided that I wanted to live for Jesus.  She pondered my explanation and then asked if Daddy had God in his heart.  Oh, the wheels were turning in my sweet little Madison Mae's mind, and I thought that I could feel her heart being stirred.   What an "awe"some moment for a mother to experience.

I told her that  Daddy asked Jesus into his heart when he was a young kid and that he has been walking with God and having a relationship with God ever since.   After a few more moments I told her that she could ask God into her heart if she ever wanted to.  She sat there alone in her own thoughts for another few moments an then said "ok."  I asked her what she was "ok"about and she said that she wanted to do it.  After a few more moments of talking and me telling her that I was not telling her that she HAD to ask Jesus into her heart,  she said that she still wanted to do it.  Of course, I cannot be Amy if I didn't continue to talk, so I needed to clarify a few more things and talk a little more.  I wanted to make sure that Madison knew that when she asked Jesus into her heart, that she knew that it was a serious matter and that she was saying that God is HER God and that she would want to follow him and read His Word and obey what He says.  I wanted her to know by doing this, that she was saying that she was a Christian, a Christ follower, and that as she learned more about WHO God is, that her life would be different.  I know- deep theological thoughts that what 6 (almost 7) year old could possibly comprehend, but I felt the importance of saying it.  I was trying to give her just a little glimpse into the significance of what she was saying and doing without REALLY being able to comprehend it at a young age.  Who even really understands it all at an adult age?  After my talking all that time, I thought that she may lose interest; but she didn't.  So eventually I said a prayer with her.  I spoke some words and she repeated them.  I cannot remember the exact words I used but Madison prayed that she was a sinner and that Jesus died for her and that she wanted to learn more and to live her life for God.  In that moment I think I experienced just a fraction of how God feels when his children come home to him.  It was amazing.
After we prayed, I cried and told Madison how happy that I was that she was not only in my "Coleman 5" family, but that she was also in my "Kingdom" family.  We talked about how happy Daddy and Grammy and the Colemans and so many of our family and friends would be since she was now in God's Kingdom.  I think that we may have even talked about the Holy Spirit, but now I can't remember.   It was a wonderful night. 

When Archie came home that night after rock climbing, I told him all about the special evening.  He was just as glad as I was and hugged and celebrated with Madison the next morning.  I don't know if Madison knew how to take the attention with all the hugs and love being poured out upon her, because she started to say "Are you going to hug me too?" with an indifferent tone in her voice whenever somebody congratulated her and told her happy that he/she was.

Since June 15th, I have enjoyed doing more devotionals with Madison and talking with her about her life. I look forward to see how God is going to use my sweet Madison Mae and what God has in store for her  future.  My prayer for her is that she has a moldable and teachable heart and a passion to walk in His ways.  And of course, that she marries a man that loves God with his whole heart along with loving and adoring her, while challenging her along her spiritual journey.

Spring and Summertime!

Beware: this will be a LONG post!

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I wanted to document what the Coleman 5 have been doing all this time since I have been so bad about updating my blog, and I found this collage on my friend's blog and thought it was a perfect way to do it.

Top pictures 1-3:
Picture 1- The boys finally got "big boy beds" in July.  I really wanted to get them bunk beds for their 3rd birthday, but it just didn't happen.  The boys had to patiently wait to use their new airplane comforter, train sheets, and "C" pillows that they received from Grammy for their birthday.  After a few months went by, Archie and I were unsure about getting them bunk beds because of safety reasons, so we sort of put off thinking about and buying them new beds.  Who really has an almost 3 and a half year old still in a crib? But when my friend Cathi and my mom saw these great bunk beds at Costco for a great price, we knew that we had to get them!  It is a full bed on the bottom and a twin on the top.  The person on the top can NOT fall off because of its railing and the bed is made with high quality.  After Archie put them together for 3-4 hours and the boys said goodbye to their cribs, they were ready for their new beds.  Christian was super excited that it was getting dark out because it meant that he was going to sleep on his new new bunk bed for the first time!  Caleb is on the top, since he rarely gets up in the middle of the night to use the washroom, but they will switch every month.  So far, so good!

Picture 2- Madison finished her 2nd year of Awanna!  Archie and I both feel that the Awanna program is wonderful, but our church does not offer it, so we decided to have Madison go to another church for it.  Even though she is shy and doesn't know anybody at this church, Madison has been a trooper these past 2 years.  We are so proud of her and love hearing her recite scripture memory verses and the books of the Bible.  It's been a good reminder to us too!

Picture 3- Archie and the kids love to play around and I was able to get a pretty good shot of them all together with the new camera that I got at Kohls.  What a deal: I got my camera for $50 instead of $130!  It's just a point and shoot camera and we hope to get our DSL camera at Christmas, but it's been great to have since my last camera broke and I don't have to always go and use Archie's "work camera."

Middle Pictures:
Picture 1-This is a picture of the kids in the morning going to Vacation Bible School at our church.  It was Crazy Hair Day!  Madison has never wanted to dress up or participate in "Crazy Days" for Awanna, so when she wanted to do this at our church . . . I was SO excited!  I put a small cup on Madison' hair and pulled her hair up and around.  The pony tail and bows, along with a lot of hair spray helped keep it up all morning.  The boys were also able to attend and they wanted crazy hair too.  Christian had bows clipped in his hair that he did not like and ended up pulling out and Caleb decided to wear a an elastic headband with bows clipped on.  They all looked so cute!

Left small middle pictures 1-4:
1- Madison is no longer a Daisy . . . she is now a Brownie!  She was pinned as a Brownie in May at a beautiful "changing over" ceremony for all the girls in her troop.  The ceremony was well done and very personal.  Each of the girls wore their flip fops that they made at the previous Daisy Meeting and each girl was read a small poem where they each had to look into a mirror and then "change" into a Brownie.  Some Brownies from other troops came to help them put on their now Brownie vest.  It was very sweet and brought back so many memories for me when I was a Brownie and Girl Scout.   Madison went to her 2nd Daddy Daughter Dance with Archie this school year with many of the Daisy and Brownie families.  I am glad that she had chosen to be in this, and I do hope that she continues.

2- This was Madison's 2nd summer at a horse camp.  She LOVES horses.  The horse camp is a 4 hour camp in which she learns how to care for horses and gets to ride a horse for a half hour.  This summer Madison invited 2 friends from school and they all had a really good time.  While the boys and I waited for Madison, I went to the Lifetime up that way to work out and the boys each got to ride a pony.  They all enjoyed themselves immensely.  Madison would love to have horseback riding lessons, so we'll see what happens in the next few years.

3- Madison played baseball (Coach Pitch) for her 2nd summer.  Coach pitch is where the coach pitches the ball to each kid.  She has really gotten better at the game since last summer and has started to enjoy the sport more; she even watches it on TV sometimes without us.   It was fun to see her be the catcher for an inning where she was crouched down wearing all this equipment and never got up!   Grandma and Grandpa Coleman went to all her games this summer which even made it more special.

4- The boys LOVE to "help" fix things around the house.  One day when I was on the computer in the basement, they got all dressed up in their Home Depot Tool belts and Caleb in his goggles.  They brought their hammers downstairs where I was working so they could "work" on the basement.  Needless to say, that our basement is not finished yet, but my cute little helpers in their mismatched jammies are so fun to watch!

Bottom Pictures 1-4:
1- The kids and Archie love fooling around together and I love seeing Archie shower our kids with love!

2- The boys were playing in the front of our house on an early Spring day and I asked them to pose for a picture.  They love giving each other hugs . . . and tackling one another.  These boys are such "boys.  Yesterday I found them upstairs playing swords with some of Daddy's tools . . .. Oops!  I really do have to watch what these little guys are getting into.  They are both FULL of energy and they keep us on our toes!

3- Me and my three little monsters!  Madison read for the Ozzie's Reading Club and received a free ticket to the Kane County Cougar game, so we all went as a family.  We really had no idea how long we would stay at the game because it was a chilly evening and since the boys have small attention spans, but we were pleasantly surprised to stay until the 7th inning. 

A few other things that we have done so far this spring/summer:  We got a much needed new (used) car (Toyota Sequoia), I celebrated my sister's 30th birthday with her in Las Vegas, the boys got their first library cards and all 3 kids participated in the reading program, A LOT of playing in the small pool and with Thomas trains and cars, I participated in 2 garage sales and got rid of MANY things- decluttering feels SO good, waterpark with Grandma Coleman, Archie and I celebrated our 9 year golden anniversary at a waterpark without the kids, the Ribfest and LeAnn Rimes, having Back Yard Bible Club at my house and sharing the gospel with kids--soo cool, seeing Peter and Paul pay a tribute to Mary at the Ravinia, helping my mom organize her house so Laura and John can move in, camping in the front yard in tent with the kids when it was 90 degress out, and our annual 4th of July party! Oh my, and my sweet nephew Aiden Alexander Georgias was born in May the day after my birthday!  I was able to be with Laura while she labored until she had a c- section.  The kids and  I have had a lot of fun seeing Aiden and Robbie and spending time with them.

So many memories have been made and we have all had so much together.  We leave for Maranatha, our annual family vacation, tomorrow morning.  I will be driving up with the kids with the waverunners and Archie will be flying.   We'll see how I get around with a trailer attached!